Third time lucky.

For the third time in 3 years I moved homes.

Three years ago I had been living in my little one-bedroomed flat and it was too comfortable and too convenient. It was 4 kilometres from work and central to most places. Okay, in all honesty the city was just convenient. Everything was accessible. And I do not believe I took it for granted. I appreciated it and if it weren’t for circumstances changing I may have never moved. The first circumstance was personal, the second time was career related and the third was a mix of both.

Each decision was hard and needed big pushing from just about everything and everyone. I did not think that I would welcome change lightly but just as grateful that I am for having all those years to myself I am also grateful for learning to go with the flow. In fact I am learning that not trying to control every detail and every aspect of my life has been the biggest game changer. By not controlling something I do not mean not making a decision or not thinking. I mean that once a decision has been made you trust that whatever happens next was meant to be. You follow your instincts and you trust yourself.

Generally every decision I make takes time. Sometimes it’s months, years or if I am lucky days. The problem with this is that as the thinking happens the confusion happens, the second-guessing and the less trusting of my own abilities and instincts.

How did moving help with this process?

The first move was easy – one small van and the trip was complete. The second move was frustrating and stressful. But in the end everything worked out. And so was the third move. The difference between these two moves was one year and learning to accept what happens happens with or without my getting angry or stressed. Does this mean that this move was less tiring or frustrating? No. But it did mean that I moved on quicker – after one venting session (where I may have needed three previously) I could laugh about it and deal with the next stressful situation. Looking back I realise that there was enough happening in the week – some situations created by my own desire to control everything and others external situations that happen regardless of my levels of stress-endurance.

I am learning that not everything goes according to plan. Being spontaneous really does mean living life more fully and being more trusting. Making plans should happen but planning for every little detail or trying to control for every outcome is exhausting and causes more stress than necessary.

So my challenge this week for myself and hopefully you too is to not make intimately-detailed plans and to not try control everything that happens or may happen.

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