The Sinner. The Believer. The Confused.

Or in my mind: The Knowledge-seeker. The Lover. The Compassionate.

I’m the Sinner – constantly questioning everything; understanding that the best learning comes from mistakes so my actions are stretched to what I believe I can live with; pushing boundaries in every aspect from moral to life in general. A deep need to understand myself and those around and closest to me…“No judgement because we are not judges. We attempt to understand because we are philosophers.” The only constant is in finding the next challenge, facing the next fear and learning that the fear may never disappear but one does become braver…“There is no feeling of lightness, she thought, like the one that comes after conquering a long-held fear.” 1

I’m the Believer – truly believing that Love is the most powerful; misunderstood concept we have and it drives our every thought and action. Believe in. Absolute Faith. Love conquers all. And this can only be done without doubt…“There’s no wisdom without love. No love without freedom. And no freedom unless we dare to walk away from what we have become.” 2

I’m the Confused – feeling everything and everyone so incredibly deeply but being objective at the same time; able to separate my emotions from logic and thus swinging like a pendulum dependent on what the person I’m facing requires from me. Then confusion over how to look after oneself while constantly trying to protect others…“Because I was always in that limbo between yes and no. No stranger to faith. No stranger to doubt. Undecided. Vascillating. Never self-confident. Maybe it made me who I am, all that uncertainty. It also became my worst enemy. I saw no way out of it.”
“You think you were the only one confused. But many of us are.”
‘Us. A sigh of a word. So tiny, so huge. We the Confused.’
3

And when added together:
“When I met you…I thought this girl doesn’t know it but she carries the three passions of Bertrand Russell: the longing for love; the search for knowledge and the unbearable compassion for the suffering of mankind…you had all three of them…so deep was your need for love. Your thirst for learning. Your sensitivity towards others…to the point of self-effacement.” 4

1. Shafak E. Three daughters of Eve. Penguin Random House UK 2016. Pg 256

2. Shafak E. Three daughters of Eve. Penguin Random House UK 2016. Pg 150

3. Shafak E. Three daughters of Eve. Penguin Random House UK 2016. Pg 364

4. Shafak E. Three daughters of Eve. Penguin Random House UK 2016. Pg 362

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