“Every emotion I feel is absolutely OK just as it is. If I feel love and peace, that is just the same as if I feel fear and anxiety. This is what ‘acceptance’ and ‘non-judgement’ really mean. You can’t say: OK, I won’t get so down about my anger, but of course it’s better to be peaceful. No. They are both the same. That is non-judgement.”
Sometimes I really love people. I think, “Wow, we are an incredible species. How amazing to be able to be one!” Then at other times, I really dislike humans. So much so that I try disassociate myself from them. “I love dogs so much. They’re so much better than those things called humans. I mean, look at how they destroying this planet.”
And it took me reading “F*ck It” by John C Parkin to accept both feelings. No matter how extreme they are. Because we all know how extreme I am (For those who don’t know…I can go from fluffy and cuddly puppy to vicious swipe your head off grizzly bear in one second… I am working on this…well sometimes; when I care to bother). And I absolutely mean that part about when I care to bother. Because as I read more and observe people (on a good day); humans (on a bad day) I learn that there is no one side to a person. There are many sides. And depending on their good or bad days you might experience their fluffy side or you may experience their grizzly bear side. They may like you or they may not. And to be honest, that’s their feelings to own. You can either care or not. Change or not. Accept or not. Your choice. What this means though is that because you’ve now understood that there’s many sides to people, it means there’s many sides to you too (because you know, you’re a people too).
This then means that you as a people or human or person (whatever you want to be called) is always different. Always changing. And the idea that people do not change is something I really believe is ridiculous. People change. Every day. If I am the same person today I was ten years ago then seriously, what’s the point of adulting? In fact if I am the same person I was yesterday I really have not learnt much! The problem comes in when we put so much pressure on ourselves to be a “good” person or to be a “certain” type of person that we become insecure and unhappy and guilt trip ourselves over and over again when we do not present this perfect person (And also…another thought…perfect by whose standard exactly)? At some stage in your life (preferably now); you need to accept yourself for who you are. All of who you are. For our sake as well as your own.
In the words of John C Parkin:
“And there’s a fantastic side effect to accepting yourself for whoever you are: you start accepting other people for who they are too. It may not happen straight away, but it definitely starts to happen. And it happens for a very simple reason: whenever you judge other people it simply comes from a non-acceptance of yourself in all your parts.”
(Quotes in bold italics are taken from the book F*ck It by John C Parkin).