My Butterfly Dream

Crazy thoughts and not so wild ideas

What’s in a little hope and faith?

Hope and Faith.

I love these two words. They bring a stillness within me that makes me know everything will be okay. Mostly because I believe without hope there can be no faith and I like to feel like I always have faith. Not to say it’s never been tested. Oh, yes it has. Quite often. Every now and then the Universe decides that I clearly seem bored so it spices up my life and tests my hope and faith.

It’s taken me a long time to reach a point of surrendering (see last week’s post) and not in a negative way. I am learning that surrendering and letting go doesn’t mean giving up or failing. It means that you have enough hope and faith that things will work out that you are able to surrender to life; to let go of the need to worry or be anxious or in control; you know that it will all work out.
“How?” I hear you chime.
Because you’re still here, are you not?” Reading this post (thank you kindly) and hopefully not falling asleep.
Now indulge me for a second more and pause; and look back to a time you were so stressed out about something last month or last year, that you didn’t know how you were going to make it through and yet, guess what? You did. You made it through that stressful time or moment and you’re still here! I think that deserves a pat on the back.
Whatever is eating at you or worrying you right now; let go of that worry or stress. You’ve done what you can and you’re doing all you can; and now have faith that it will all work out and don’t let go of the hope.

Trust me, this coming from a CONTROL FREAK of note (don’t believe me, ask my ex-husband) is hard but true. I always thought if I was in control of everything and everyone it would stop my stress or anxiety. It’s extremely counter-intuitive but the more I let go of always trying to be in control and the more faith and hope I have, the less stress and worry I have.

Okay, so how did I get to this point? Work. Hard freaking inner work. And every second has been worth it. And by inner work I mean just that. Whatever appeals to you; therapy, coaching, meditation, retreats, motivational videos, self-help books, good friends that challenge you. I’ve experienced all these and will most likely continue trying or experimenting with other tools or techniques that allow me to look within. Why do you need to look within? Because you need to build your bravery and courage muscle. Because having hope and faith requires courage and strength. Because when your mind is telling you “You’re wrong. Things will never work out.” You need the courage and strength to push these thoughts away. This isn’t saying you must suppress your feelings or emotions; this is saying take a thought that has been created in your mind and let it go and replace it with hope because you have faith.

My biggest fear, as mentioned in a previous post a while back, is being abandoned; people leaving me for whatever reason. I’ve had to learn through the hardest ways possible that this is not something I can control. I cannot control who stays and who leaves. I cannot control who values me and who doesn’t. I can only love and appreciate the times and moments I have with each person and with hope and faith, let go of this fear. It is not in my control choosing who stays and who leaves. I can only have faith and hope things will always work out as they always have – because I’m still here. Like You.

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