My Butterfly Dream

Crazy thoughts and not so wild ideas

Category: Self discovery

P.A.T.I.E.N.C.E.

Sooooo I’m already used to this lockdown life. Not needing to leave my place has in some ways relaxed me a lot. Yes, weird I know. Anyway, in the first few days of this historical moment – lockdown – in case you thought it was something else, I have learnt how little patience I have.

I mean, the patience of waiting. I’m not so good. Patience in explaining something, patience with children, patience with untangling knots…I have loads of patience. But the real true test of patience…the patience required to do nothing but wait, I have none. Not just none but zero. Nothing. Non-existent.

All the other types of patience are simpler because you’re doing something. But with waiting you’re…well…doing nothing…but waiting. It’s so pronounced that even when I’m waiting for the microwave timer to get to zero, I open the door at one. Yes people, one. I don’t have enough patience to wait another second. (All those judging me, you’ve done this too…just admit it).

The problem with waiting patiently is that it makes me feel out of control. Like I’m waiting for someone or something to do something and then things will start to happen. How ridiculous does that sound? Especially in a world where we’re constantly being told “you have to go after what you want” or “the early bird catches the worm” or “urgency is key”. In a world where everyone is rushing, sometimes all we should be doing is waiting patiently. Something I am in the process of learning. Well, trying to learn. Kind of learning. Maybe I’ll start tomorrow. Because you know, today I’m doing stuff. Stuff that avoids me to wait patiently.

And maybe that’s the idea or learning…patience teaches us that waiting is important…or waiting teaches us that patience is important…we wait for the right timing, we wait until we can think rationally, we wait until something happens. And maybe there’s nothing wrong with any of this. If you have the patience to do so.