My Butterfly Dream

Crazy thoughts and not so wild ideas

Just Ask.

One of my biggest issues to get over is to ask for help. I’m not good at it…yet. In fact I am so shockingly bad at it that when I force myself to ask for anything from someone close to me, I start off the sentence with…”Please will you do me a favour?” Can we pause for a second on this. I don’t want the person to do me a favour. I don’t believe asking for help means tit for tat or you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours. Well in my mind that’s not what it should be. Asking for help can be just that. Asking someone to assist you with something in which they may be more knowledgeable, physically stronger or in my case, much taller and it should not be an embarrassment.

And this is where I feel like we trip over ourselves. A LOT. Who expected us to expect ourselves to know everything and be so independent we don’t need anyone? You and I, that’s who. Think of yourself starting a new job. The point of starting a new job is to grow, develop, learn new things. And normally the first thing that happens is we question whether others will think we capable enough or clever enough. Or we don’t try something because we believe we don’t know enough or aren’t good enough. This is mostly focused on mental intelligence but the same logic can be used for emotional intelligence as well. In fact as emotional intelligence becomes more and more important, especially in the workplace (don’t believe me, google what traits are the most wanted and will be the most wanted for jobs by 2022) why do we still feel too silly or too proud to ask for help in this regard? People still frown upon or feel embarrassed to say they’re seeing a therapist or counsellor or that they need help with some emotional aspect of their lives. I look at how easy it is nowadays to receive support compared to previously and do not understand why we aren’t all just jumping at the opportunity. You would see a dentist to sort out any teeth issues, you’d see a doctor to sort out any physical ailments because they are the experts so why not see a psychologist or therapist to assist with any emotional or mental questions or issues you may have?

I am grateful for all the “alternative” therapies that have helped me become more self aware and help me be stronger. Asking for help humbles us and reminds us that we are not perfect and that’s okay. Asking for help makes us stronger and helps us understand how to overcome whatever we need to. Asking for help is letting go. Letting go of the need to always be in control. Asking for help encourages us to trust. Asking for help encourages us to have faith. Asking for help is a blessing in disguise, if only we accept the help we receive in return.