“How do you do it?”
That’s all I want to ask.
How do you switch off to something so easily?
How do you pretend like everything is as it should be?
How do you pretend to be normal?
How do you accept that you do not have all the answers your own mind has thought of asking? And how do you accept that the way to receive the answers to these questions is by releasing them and letting others hear them?
Is it not easier to just pretend I have no questions? But I know the answer to at least this one question. Pretending in anything, even the pretense of not having questions is exhausting. More exhausting than not releasing the questions.
So I relax into the flow of questions that my mind has created. In. Out. Up. Down. The rhythm relaxes me and I soon forget that no answers will arrive this way.
I give in to the rise and fall of life in general over time and the questions my mind creates increases.
And as long as I recognize that I do not have the answers to the even most basic of questions, I relax. It’s easier this way. Oh, wait. That is what I keep telling myself. No wonder I’m so tired. The unanswered questions do not disappear. They repeat. Over and over again. A new rhythm.
From my world of being unable to process the normal question of, “How are you feeling?” I struggle to release any question for someone else to hold. So I fall back into the safe rhythm created…
How am I feeling?
How do most people answer this question?
How do they know it is the truth?
How does someone feel one thing?
Or does a person feel many things and describe all of them, or pick one and describe that one?
And this rhythm continues. And it will continue until the rhythm becomes monotonous.
Or until someone falls into my rhythm and shares their rhythm. And with my rhythm and their rhythm, a new rhythm is created.
And as a new rhythm is created, answers may be discovered.