I was going to type up a blog about hurt people hurting others – inspired by some recent events of me indirectly hurting others without even noticing it. Some passive aggressive tendencies I would say. I only reflected afterwards that I was subconsciously hurting people who had hurt me and I thought I didn’t do revenge! I thought I was the “let it go and no one deserves pain person”…but apparently not. True story.
So what to do now? Be gentle with myself that’s for sure. Discovering these “dark” sides of one’s self can be freaking scary. Even more so, it would make most people try hide them even more, tuck them so deep down into their unconscious that they believe it to have disappeared. Or we could acknowledge them and try understand why they’re there. Then we could accept it. But it doesn’t end here because that would be almost too easy. Then we could have a conversation with these parts of ourselves to know why they exist and what they’re trying to teach us.
So me? It’s to learn to stop being so judgmental and to try see other people’s perspectives. Which I thought I did pretty well until I realised that when it’s something important to me…nope, sorry you’re wrong. All wrong. And I’m right. Yes, I am.
Telling people to make difficult choices and decisions because it will make them happier and more fulfilled…who are we to say that’s even what they want? People aren’t out there purposely making decisions against us; they’re making decisions for themselves and sometimes that doesn’t align with what we think is best and sometimes it causes us pain. But that’s our perspective, not theirs. Just like I indirectly hurt others while trying to heal myself; I wasn’t thinking of others; just my own healing. And now I’ve learnt that I’ve got some more work to do on this path.
So be gentle with yourself. This story of life is supposed to be all about learnings and sometimes it’s about welcoming those parts of yourself you’re running away from.