Let me start at the end.
I did not complete my list of 40 things to do before I’m 40. I completed 18 items, and the rest may be a 2025 challenge…I haven’t decided yet.
Did I complete anything since the last blog?
Yes. I went to a concert that was regrettably the worst decision for the year, and I say this confidently even though the year isn’t finished yet.
I expected to be reminded of my youth in seeing an R and B group I listened to when I was younger. I did not read the finer details of having 8 (yes, 8!) headline acts…various singers and comedians…it was a three or more hour wait and when the main act appeared…it was a sublime performance…so lesson learned: read the fine print next time.
The next item had me dancing in the rain in a new home that I had not planned on receiving or was even looking for, and the last item had me drinking a homemade cocktail while on holiday so I could tick 3 more items off the list. The cocktail did taste better than the non-alcoholic champagne, and dancing in the rain was a nostalgic experience, reminding me how crazy I was playing in the rain as a child; and appreciating a mother who encouraged such behaviour. Neither of these 2 activities, however, will be a common occurrence…well, maybe the dancing in the rain one has potential.
These last 3 months were just about getting through the rest of the year and to a holiday, but this was a subconscious feeling, and I only recognise this now on reflection.
A lot was happening, and I was a true duck in water; holding as much together above the water while peddling like crazy under. In getting through the year, me being me, I added more stress to my world. Normally I de-stress through stress, by deciding on a spontaneous semi to permanent action, similar to getting a tattoo. This time, I did the most spontaneous action in moving homes; so unplanned, but not regretful, and I booked a holiday in the bush to ensure a quiet entry into my birthday, while my day job during this 3 month period was nothing short of volcanic explosions. In three months, while life was happening, my list had been packed away in the smallest corner of my mind, to be unpacked when I had the energy to continue tackling it and when I remembered it. By my birthday, only 18 items had been fully completed, with 4 half or less complete.
Maybe I’ll just change the challenge and make it a 40 things to do while 40, because I can. Why not? 22 items left to get through in another year seems do-able, although here is a confession…
While decluttering and going down memory lane, I found a list of goals I had written around 2014, and the unticked items on that list are still the unticked items on this current list.
A few repeat offenders are:
- Learn a new language
- Learn a specific type of dance
- Be consistent in yoga
- Learn to play a musical instrument
As I type out this list, I am so uninspired. Nothing about these items makes me interested in completing them. I do not see the end, reasoning, or point. Yes, yes, yes, of course it’s learning and new and good for me, but how often do we do things because “they’re good for us?“
I’m therefore at a crossroads. Do I take them off my list since it has been 10 years (or even longer potentially) having them as goals, or do I figure out why I put them on my list in the first place?
I have thus reached the 40-year milestone, having not completed my own list that I created and seeing that some items are just there purely out of habit. Someone probably once told me these are the things I need to do, and I feel my goals are incomplete without having them on a list or having done them. This is the ultimate level of self-sabotage, so I’m removing them and shall replace them with more self-aware items yet to be discovered. I’ll dig deep to ensure I understand why they’re getting a spot on my list, which it seems I’m committing to complete by the end of my 40th year.
2024 saw many personal growth endings; mostly consisting of me walking away or standing firm from things I was too used to enduring, and then in parallel, it saw me facing many aspects of myself I was hiding from. From this, I am not disappointed in not completing this list before I was 40. I thought I would be, I thought I would be harder on myself or that I would push harder to finish it, but I felt no disappointment, nor did I push to finish it. While learning more about myself, I learned that pivoting between things is what I enjoy most, and I’ll come back to this list sometime in the next year when I feel inspired to. Plus, when life is stressful enough, there is no reason whatsoever to add further stress to it…unless it’s to de-stress.
What a lesson learned.