“Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him. By his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features in the beloved person; and even more, he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized but yet ought to be actualized. Furthermore, by his love, the loving person enables the beloved person to actualize these potentialities. By making him aware of what he can be and of what he should become, he makes these potentialities come true.” – Man’s search for meaning. Victor E Frankl
Side Note: One of the most powerful books I’ve read this year and it’s a short read that can easily be completed in a week. Definitely don’t miss out. Read this book.
I remember when I was in primary school, I used to be teased for always being someone who would comfort another if they were crying or sad or upset and I’d receive nicknames such as “Mother Theresa” which when you’re a child and is being said by other children, is not meant as a compliment. I could not handle seeing others in pain or discomfort and I’d always do my best to try remove either. But somewhere along the way, this trait became an embarrassment and something I’d shy away from and I tucked it so deep in my psyche that I forgot about it until recently.
What experiences must one go through in life that it makes you question being kind or showing some form of love to another human being? What happens to you to want to hide love for others so deep in your core that even you forget it exists? What could possibly affect us this much that we’re embarrassed to show kindness to random strangers?
We become injured by life events or life trips us up and we start believing that the way to protect ourselves is to hide our compassion or love for others however this has completely the opposite effect. The more we hide our kindness, love and compassion, the less kindness, love and compassion we can receive and we become caught in a cycle of dis-ease; wondering why the world is such a cruel place when in reality it’s our own cruelty towards ourselves that we are feeling and seeing. The world reflects what we put into it. We try to deny the effects and power that love has so we hide our own and reject others to prove to ourselves that the world indeed is a cruel place.
It’s the same for those individuals who are loved by others but they do not love themselves so it doesn’t matter how much love they receive because it doesn’t change the belief in their own minds of them not being loveable. If you don’t believe you’re loveable you’re unable to give love to others; be it your partner, your family, your friends, your children, strangers or even yourself. Imagine if someone who believes they’re not loveable became tired of feeling this way and gave in to accepting the love around them? Imagine how their worlds would change!
Imagine if we first approached people we’ve just met with love and not mistrust? If we assumed good intentions and not suspicion? Imagine if we didn’t take everything personally? If we all wanted to be fully aware of another person’s essence? If we woke up to the realisation that the one way to find meaning in life is through our love for others?
How magical would this be?