One of my favourite weekends recently was spent going to a friend’s house and while she watched Netflix on her laptop on one of her sofas; I read a book on the other. The whole weekend. No forcing conversation. No forcing each other to step outside. No forcing anything.
Now, I’ll be honest. I’m the type of person who becomes super excited about making plans and then becomes even more excited when they’re cancelled. And if the plan isn’t cancelled, I acknowledge the pleasure of the plan after it has taken place. Not during. Only after.
During the build up to this favourite weekend I went through the following emotions such as, “Yay, it’s happening!” to “Maybe we’ll cancel closer to the time” back to “Yay, it’s happening! I hope we don’t do anything!” And then to “Wow what a fantastic weekend of not doing anything!” Thank goodness for the event not being cancelled. And thank goodness I could just be myself.
There’s something about just being yourself that allows you to enjoy an event more than normal. The other night I was invited to a friend’s house for a birthday and I proceeded to, during the evening, let them know that I was most likely going to fall asleep on their sofa and take a nap. Which of course I did. Bearing in mind this was only the second time I had been there. And I did not know everyone or most people there. Did I enjoy myself? Definitely. Was the host offended? No (I’ll take it that they were being honest in their encouragement of me falling asleep). I woke up livelier than before and way more amenable to company than before. Thank goodness for the event not being cancelled. And thank goodness I could just be myself.
I’ve learnt the following as I attend not-cancelled plans:
1) Attend functions where you can be You. And if, for whatever reason, you can’t be you don’t force yourself to go. You will be miserable.
2) Definitely keep plans with people who accept you. Fully. You’ll always enjoy yourself.
3) Going through the different emotions of excitement to anxiety back to excitement is pretty normal if you’re anything like me. Go with it. It’s part of Adulting.
4) You may learn something new about yourself and those around you. You never know.
5) I enjoy plans that involve nature, outdoors and pets. But sitting in company with those I love beats anything and everything else.
I learn more about what I enjoy, who I enjoy it with and when I enjoy it the more I keep plans. Or rather, the less others cancel plans. So as I keep filling my calendar with future events and move through the excitement of a cancelled plan I look forward to enjoying the next not-cancelled plan just as much.