My Butterfly Dream

Crazy thoughts and not so wild ideas

It is time.

It is time. I can feel it. I’m on the brink of transformation and change and I’m tired enough to want it badly enough.

I’ve never seen any life transformation that didn’t begin with the person in question finally getting tired of their own bulls***.” – Elizabeth Gilbert.

I could not get this quote out of my head and for weeks I kept going back to it. I kept asking myself, “Am I tired enough?” And finally, the answer is “Yes.”   

It is time. Time to let go of what is holding me back. Time to jump off the cliff and fly. Time to trust and have faith.

It is time. Time to stop. Time to draw lines and set boundaries so that I can have enough love and time and energy for the people and places that matter. Time to stop allowing those who bring nothing to keep taking everything.

It is time. Time to let go. Just let go. Let go of all that does not serve me or my soul.

There are two ways to live through life. One is in constant survival mode; never trusting that everything will be okay; never knowing if we can make it through the tough times because the good times don’t seem long enough so why bother even trying? In constant anxious mode, waiting for the next hiccup; constantly thinking about what may go wrong and then trying to always be prepared for it, never accepting that we cannot be prepared for everything, never accepting that when we focus so much on these things, we miss out on everything else. We become single-minded and wonder why we cannot see what everyone else sees. We get stuck in a cycle; so focused on surviving that we only see things that prove why we should be in this mode. But we do not realise that we ourselves are blocking out everything else.

The other way is to live through love; accepting the tough times as the times that are there to teach us something and that they’ll continuously repeat themselves until we learn the lesson so we might as well make the most of it and learn something. We approach every situation presently; knowing that nothing lasts and that’s exactly why we must appreciate what we have; we live gratefully, thankful that we are where we are. We have what we have and know that it is enough and somehow the more grateful we are for where we are now the better things become. We somehow open ourselves up and that doesn’t break us but makes us stronger; happier; grateful. We get caught in a cycle and this time we see everything and allow all in because everything good or bad is ultimately a lesson.

It is therefore time. Time to stop being a survivor of life. And time to start being a lover of life. And to me this means letting go of all that does not serve me; the negativity, the people who take advantage because I allow it, the places that drain my energy, the parts of my life I live because I’m used to it being this way. It means letting go of the old so that the new can enter.

So yes. It is time. And I believe it is time. I can feel it. I can see it. I can think it.