To some of the males in my life.

This post is about being grateful for certain people and circumstances – how else will you find your passion in life if you cannot stop and appreciate something once in a while?

During the week I completed a programme called Woman Inpowered (WIP) – I encourage you to visit their website and if possible (and if you’re female) attend a session. We were a group of females who had to punch through a specific item and for an hour a week over five weeks we discussed, listened and practiced how to break this item. I was so excited I told all my close family members (male and female) and they could not wait to see the video. Once it was over I went viral with that video – I was thrilled to the point that I sent it to numerous amounts of individuals – short of putting it on facebook. And not one person said a negative word – there was amazement, shared excitement and happiness. But not one negative word.

My group members however could not say the same. The males, specifically, in their lives mocked and joked around about how “easy it is” or “how they know better” or “they must have made it easy for you” and I could feel from the females tone in their voices that these comments took away some sense of accomplishment. That “I did it!” or “Wow! I really am in control!” feeling.

I think I was blessed to grow up with an elder brother (and all his friends becoming my adopted big brothers) and father who did not prevent me from doing things “because I was a girl.” In fact the only time I heard the “because you’re a girl” phrase was when dishes needed to be washed – this would definitely bring out the wrong side in me. I believe though that being expected to be able to kick a ball properly or play sports properly taught me that I could do whatever I wanted if I put my mind to it. There was no limit “because I was a girl.” Yes, it also made me a tomboy (which is a story for another day) but it also provided me with the confidence to compete with the “boys” – something many females as I was growing up did not believe they could or should do. I also realised that this made me more aware of the friends I chose. I chose friends (males and females) who supported me and did not expect me to change to fit into their worlds. And the males in my family – well, there’s enough females for them to never use condescending words. As I became older I realised I didn’t have to “be one of the boys” and that I could do something because I wanted to, regardless of being “a girl.”

I am grateful for the males in my life who support my decisions, whose input I value and for those who do not attempt to control me. I think it is something that I take for granted and this programme made me realise that even though we were learning to protect ourselves from some “scary males” I already know many good ones.
If you think that all males are the same – they all have massive egos and they expect females to be submissive (unless you are happy with this – your choice) then maybe you should meet some of the males I know. They expect you to stand up to them and you will not hear the words “you throw the ball like a girl” but rather “you throw the ball properly.” There is a huge difference in those choice of words especially when being said by a male.

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