Earlier this week I was introduced to the concept of a truth-teller. My imagination incorrectly led me to think of a Shaman somewhere in America telling us the truths of our lives and existence – not to be the case I’m afraid. The correct concept of the truth-teller I was introduced is less dramatic but just as powerful. It’s about having someone in your life to always hold you accountable to your true self; someone who is able to show you a reflection of your best self and hold you to that image.
The idea fascinated me. The person who introduced me to this concept has two truth-tellers in her life – one being her spouse and the other being a close colleague. Both are able to hold her accountable to her best self and ensure that she never forgets who she is and who she can be.
Take a second to think about how powerful this idea is: If you had someone to reiterate to you about how much better the real you is and how you need to always be the best you; imagine how much happier you would be? We all have our negative traits and the sides we do not like about ourselves and your truth-teller would be there to remind you that this does not make you who you are. These negative traits are a reminder of who you do not want to be and your truth-teller would be there to accept them as a part of you but not as the whole You and certainly not as the majority of you.
Truth-tellers obviously do not have an easy role – they have the tough job of giving hard messages (and finding ways of doing this softly) and have to question and question and question until the listener is in a better place mentally and knows the path they must follow.
The flip-side of this is that you might be somebody’s truth-teller and you didn’t even know it. Imagine the responsibility this places on you. Also imagine how this works in reverse; by holding someone accountable you also end up holding yourself accountable and thereby become your own truth-teller. And in a way we all can be our own truth-tellers – we all have that gut feeling or instinct or inner voice that tells us what we should do or attempts to guide us to happiness. The problem however is that we normally do not trust this inner voice and our doubt drowns that voice… in steps the external truth-teller. This person will have your best interests at heart and will only want you to be at your best; at your happiest and thus they are guided by the selfless act of ensuring you are You.
And that You always stay true to You.
If you know who your truth-tellers are I hope you keep them close and when they encourage and bring out the best side of you, I hope you believe in this side of yourself too so that your inner voice is comforted knowing you are on the right path for You.
This is interesting. Mine is definitely Muzi. I might be his too but because I avoid the burden of having to have those ‘crucial conversations’ I do not always act like one ( I avoid conflict). It’s not easy to be that to people you love.
It’s also not easy to hear the truth about yourself: your brain quickly packages it as criticism and you get defensive. I think all thos comes with the level of maturity; to accept truths about yourself and try to live up to the best version of yourself.
It all definitely comes with maturity and trust I believe. You have to know the person only wants the best for you. And it actually should only come from a place of love.
It becomes easier to accept the truth about yourself if you are your own truth teller. Having a truth teller comes, as Nozipho indicated with maturity. I know tons of people who when you tell them the truth about themselves become defensive and argumentative. It boils down to”the truth must not hurt”
Hearing the truth about yourself also means it has to be told by someone who has your interests as a priority. Being your own truth-teller may also mean that you would be able to handle what an external truth-teller would say because it then should be similar.