I am humbled.
I enjoy solving problems. I sometimes think I’m good at it. I see a problem and one way or another I find a way to solve it. Maybe not always on my own, I will find someone somewhere who knows what to do but by and large I will figure it out. Call it resilience, tenacity, whatever you want but it will be figured out. Sounds fun, doesn’t it?
The truth is it fills a need within myself. Because let’s be honest, it’s way easier to fix or solve external issues than to look inward and 1. Admit you need fixing and 2. To actually do the work on yourself.
The other problem with this constantly wanting to solve, is that it’s the same with people. When many of my friends or family talk to me about something bothering them, I immediately go into “fix-it” mode. Suggesting, advising, pushing (and yes, I have noticed that tone I have when I see you not listening); throwing facts and knowledge and all my years of life experience (because you know, I’m 150 years old). Because you a human has come to be fixed. But then it clicked the other day when I was irritated because you didn’t listen to me again: People aren’t in my life to be fixed. People aren’t even in my life to fix me (humbled part one).
I used to wonder why my parents, or some family or even one or two of my friends, weren’t changing or reflecting or growing or developing and the thing is they are. We all are. Not in the same way as me (with my millions of requirements to be able to feel like I’ve accomplished something – let’s just say I can’t seem to find an easy way to do anything) but we’re all on really unique, different journeys. I constantly need to feel like I’m facing a fear and defeating it (and yes, I have that many fears) because that’s how I feel like I’m figuring out life. Others may need to have a routine or tradition because that’s what keeps them grounded, others may be learning what’s important to them by being on their own, others may require constant change, others may be simply living day to day. Some learning is quick, some is slow. Some need to repeat their mistakes over and over, others learn after the first mistake. The point is none of them, none of us need fixing (humbled part 2).
We’re all here trying to figure out this thing called life; trying to do what’s best for us and that’s what’s so amazing; we’re all doing it differently. What might work for me won’t necessarily work for you. The journey I’m on will be different to the one you’re on and it’s all happening at our own pace. And just like that, I stopped comparing myself and instead started admiring others. For doing things I probably wouldn’t do (or wouldn’t do in the same way) or for tackling your life the way you are. There’s at least one quality in everyone that we could admire or learn from (humbled part 3).
Carry on growing in your own way. Learn in your own way. Live life in your own way. And maybe we can then learn from each other 🙂