I’m a worst-case scenario person; a let’s always be prepared for the worst type of person, a liking towards always being prepared for situations that can go wrong. Or bad. Or spiral out of control towards that rock bottom.
By being prepared, let’s be clear. I’m talking mentally, emotionally and if required, physically prepared.
The amazing thing about having this kind of mindset is the constant problem solving that occurs because “anything can go wrong so preparation is key.” In all fairness, I’m not great at problem-solving as much as I am at thinking of all the things that could go badly. Either way, it is helpful when trying to figure out the best way forward and what obstacles may be in the way. In situations where planning is required, this is handy. Traveling plans, party plans, dinner plans, all kinds of plans. And the added benefit of being OCD and conscientious means everything will be figured out plus it’s the one way an introvert like me can feel involved. (I feel like I just advertised my next career…if you looking for this kind of skill, dial 0800…just joking).
Here’s the issue (see what I did here)? People. Yes, people are the issue. I said it. Mainly because I believe I’m a person too. People are unpredictable, filled with a range of logic and emotions that do not necessarily match mine at that particular moment. And given that my mind-reading and psychic abilities aren’t quite where they should be, I can’t control people. So when I am invited to an event (let’s be real here, any event where there’s more than 1 other person) I get uber excited initially because you know, people. Then the time ticks away, louder and louder as I move closer and closer to event day. Still excited? (If you mouthed the word, no, well done, you’re a mind reader too now).
What has changed from the initial invite and enthusiasm to the day before dread? Besides age, it’s the need to be prepared for the worst. And the worst comes from many many many years of being in situations that don’t always go well. It could be family, friends, unknowns…whoever, and maybe no negative thing has happened in years but you know what also kicks in as that clock ticks? Nerves. Because no, not people this time. But because of having enough times of things going wrong or maybe because for as long as I can remember, being prepared is what got me through being surrounded by people because you know, introvert.
Being prepared controls the nervousness of not being able to control every single little thing.
The other thing being prepared does is lower my expectations and if my expectations are low then it means my emotions are protected and the chances of being hurt in any way, unlikely. This is important because for a highly logical person who takes forever to process emotions but feels them deeply, preparation is key. The less likely there’s any pain, the less likely time is required to process anything so the less anything is felt.
A wonderful thing happens in more cases than not when the event happens. The event is enjoyed; yes by me. The “what was I so worried about” question runs through the mind and a pocket full of memories added to my aging brain. This doesn’t stop me though from being less prepared for the next event but it does always means I’m happily surprised.