My Butterfly Dream

Crazy thoughts and not so wild ideas

How to survive the shadows.

So how do you survive the shadows?

Run.

In a different country.

Well, that’s what I did anyway. And it worked on the first day to distract me from the book I had started; but for the next three days I was consumed by “The shadow of the wind” by CR Zafon. At first it moved at such a quick pace I thought I’d finish 500 pages in one day…

By day two and a hundred pages in, I began questioning why my aunt would recommend it and how on Earth could it have sold 20 million copies? I kept glancing at the next novel I wanted to tackle (“A survival guide” by B. Grylls) and thought, “discipline, finish this book first!”

Day three. Sleeping late isn’t helping and I’m just over two hundred pages in. Why, oh why is this book moving so slow? I started doubting my aunt’s recommendation even more. This was the first novel she recommended and the first time I had been guided by her and maybe I was wrong. Maybe we really didn’t like the same novels and our conversations were only connected simply because we were family. Maybe she was trying to tell me to stop recommending books to her and this was the only way – by providing me with a novel that was at first enchanting then boring.

Day four. I’m finishing this book today. No matter what it takes. I’m passed the halfway mark and am more excited by the idea of finishing it then by the story itself. The pace has picked up again and I’m hoping a few more hours I’ll be done…then. I had to put it down. No, this doesn’t make sense. Messages to my aunt. What just happened? Where did that curve ball come from? And all of a sudden it all makes sense. The fast beginning; the slow middle, false sense of security and then BAM!

I didn’t pick up the book for a few minutes, thinking. Trying to understand. When I was ready I picked it up again. To finish the rest. I started noticing how beautifully written it really was; how I hadn’t kept up with the author’s ability to leave clues and how I thought I already knew what the novel was about when in fact I knew nothing.

Relief. That’s the only way I could describe what I felt reading this novel. Will I read another one? No doubt about it. But not now. I need to first read about survival to maybe get through the next one.

Oh, and my aunt was right. And definitely wiser.

“Destiny is usually just around the corner. Like a thief, a hooker, or a lottery vendor: its three most common personifications. But what destiny does not do is home visits. You have to go for it yourself.” – page 233